Lakers Preview: Jazz vs Lakers

Honda Center – Anaheim

Tuesday 7:00 PM Lakers Standard Time

Television: KCAL, NBA TV

‘Dancing with the Stars’

“If you want to dance with the stars, nothing is given, you have to give your best effort. You must be dedicated to your goal at hand. You must feel you can be the best. Time and effort are secondary. Desire is primary.” – Marc Cuban (Billionaire, Dallas Mavericks Owner, and Dance Expert)

To the Lakers, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ means becoming one of the Elite teams of the NBA. Will the Lakers be good enough to Waltz their way across the NBA (National Ballrooms of America)? Can they Two Step with the Suns, Line Dance with the Spurs, and Tango with the Mavs?

If you gauge the Lakers by the Preseason, you are sadly mistaken. Preseason means nothing. As Derek Fisher said laughingly after practice, “Phil Jackson will show you everything in the preseason, but NOTHING of what you will see in the regular season.” What the Fishmeister means to say, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

PJ with his dancing stick by his side, will continue to teach these Lakers to dance and step to another beat. 2 – 4 – 6 – we score, then we Tri and Angle for more. Tap, Tap, Tap, he goes, beating his stick on the floor, like a Russian Ballet teacher. “You son’s of slugs, AGAIN. Do it AGAIN! No! No! No! You are taking one step backwards for every two steps forward.” (Clippers game)

Even Fisher, the Primo Ballerino he his, gets into the lessons. He lamented, “We are just one step slow in our executions.” He feels though, we CAN ‘Dance with the Stars.’ Always the optimist. After practice he said, “I like our talent, I like our versatility”. But he focused on our chemistry. “Its just average for now.” Which means the Lakers have no pizzazz. He pointedly brought out, “its not like we need to be holding hands in the park kinda stuff.” The Lakers are working on the chemistry, but it won’t be easy. Crittenton and Farmar are finding themselves. And sighing aloud, “Andrew Bynum is forever young.” But confidently he said, “it takes time, we will get there.”

Kobe the ‘Momba King’ makes the dance steps seem simple. “We need to rotate. Cover the weak side, and pursue the perimeter.”

So do the Lakers have what it takes to ‘Dance with the Stars’? Can we ‘Rhumba’ with the NBA’s finest? Are we ready for the Ballroom Championship?

And now on to the game preview.

‘All that Jazz’: If we want to dance our way to the top. We MUST tap dance our way by these guys. They were the surprise of the NBA. Sloan had them Square Dancing their way to the Western Conference Finals. They still have Boozer and Williams, but we took away from them, the Heart, the Soul, and their Inspiration, Derek Fisher. Advantage Lakers.

Key Match Ups: The Guards: Phil says he can’t tell them apart. “They all look the same to me.” And his answer to all the hard work they’ve put in? “Okay guys, we play it this way. Farmar, you get the little guys, Sasha, the tall ones, and Crittenton, the ‘Tony Parkers of the World.’

The Centers: If you go by the Lakers Nation Poll, Andrew Bynum starts. But the only pole that really counts, is the one PJ has by his side. And it says Mihm or Kwame will start, but Drew will get most of the minutes.

Fatty’s Take: This is what AB gets for not shooting the ‘Skyhook’ C’mon Bynum, make Kareem proud. Do the ‘Skyhook’ thingy.

The Shooting Forward: Luke Walton vs Vladimir Radmanovic

Luke can pass. Vladimir can shoot. Luke has curly wavy hair. Vladimir shaved his head. Luke plays with his brain. Vladimir plays with his snowboard. This is going to be a tough one.

Fatty’s Take: Its Lamar Odom

Who’s Hot? Jordan Farmar. The guy did the Cha Cha Cha over, under, and around the Clippers.

Who’s Not? Chris Mihm’s ‘Break Dance’ broke down. We will chalk it up to, he was rusty, he’s flat footed, and out of rhythm.

Official Lakers Cheer for Tuesday’s Game:

Abracadabra, razzamataz,

Do the ‘Funky Chicken’ on the Utah Jazz

Go Lakers!

(Courtesy of Fatty’s wife)

“It doesn’t count, its just preseason”

Game Prediction: The Lakers will Hip Hop and Macarena all over the Jazz. The Los Angeles Lakers of Anaheim will score a Ten from the Judges and win the Great Disney Dance Off. Don’t get too excited. As PJ said, just preseason “its like kissing your sister,” not the real thing.

  • steve

    The best offseason move that the team made was getting d-fish…and it has already started to pay off with the improvement of farmar.After all i think he had a big influence on deron williams…Lets hope our point guards have had there vacsination shots against the deadly (SMUSH FLU)…i hear i can infect badly within 82 games….fingers crossed

  • kyler_hay

    nice job fatty i love ur funny game previews hopefully Kobe WILL PROVE AGAIN TO DR BUSS Y IT ISNT GOOD 4 HIM TO TRADE MAMBA.

  • jack

    all i can say is : i want to see how “farmer, kobe, vladi, mihm, odom” ‘s rotation works out. can’t wait to see odom sooner or later. mihm looks gr8 in shape. welcome back. hope we get this game. a W is a W, any time.

  • BEC

    Our second unit looks great in the preseason, but then again it is the preseason. They seem to play well off of each other. Im really curious how are main unit is going to play especially down the stretch in games, maybe possible chemistry problems, Fish, Kobe, LO, Ronny, and Bynum/Mihm, looks really good. Especially on the defensive end Fish, Kobe, and LO have nice size, speed and length, Ronny has a lot of toughness and Bynum has the length to block shots, although he has yet to show that hes a formidable shot blocker. Hes slow on the weak side, but thats probably because of a lack of execution.

    Our defense is going to dictate whether we are a better team this year. Even if all our players play consistent on the offensive end, Bynum avg a double-double, vlad and sasha hit their threes, it wont matter without the good defense. From the preseason games, it looks like our defense isnt much better than last year, which isnt good, it is preseason though.

  • two0one7

    Haha, Kobe the “Momba King”. Funny stuff.

    OT: For all the people affected by the fires, I hope you guys are all safe and well, rooting for the Lakers where ever you are. Hopefully the winds die down soon and contain this mess.

  • k0be da 1 andonly