Lakers Preview: Jazz vs Lakers
Honda Center – Anaheim
Tuesday 7:00 PM Lakers Standard Time
Television: KCAL, NBA TV
‘Dancing with the Stars’
“If you want to dance with the stars, nothing is given, you have to give your best effort. You must be dedicated to your goal at hand. You must feel you can be the best. Time and effort are secondary. Desire is primary.” – Marc Cuban (Billionaire, Dallas Mavericks Owner, and Dance Expert)
To the Lakers, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ means becoming one of the Elite teams of the NBA. Will the Lakers be good enough to Waltz their way across the NBA (National Ballrooms of America)? Can they Two Step with the Suns, Line Dance with the Spurs, and Tango with the Mavs?
If you gauge the Lakers by the Preseason, you are sadly mistaken. Preseason means nothing. As Derek Fisher said laughingly after practice, “Phil Jackson will show you everything in the preseason, but NOTHING of what you will see in the regular season.” What the Fishmeister means to say, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
PJ with his dancing stick by his side, will continue to teach these Lakers to dance and step to another beat. 2 – 4 – 6 – we score, then we Tri and Angle for more. Tap, Tap, Tap, he goes, beating his stick on the floor, like a Russian Ballet teacher. “You son’s of slugs, AGAIN. Do it AGAIN! No! No! No! You are taking one step backwards for every two steps forward.” (Clippers game)
Even Fisher, the Primo Ballerino he his, gets into the lessons. He lamented, “We are just one step slow in our executions.” He feels though, we CAN ‘Dance with the Stars.’ Always the optimist. After practice he said, “I like our talent, I like our versatility”. But he focused on our chemistry. “Its just average for now.” Which means the Lakers have no pizzazz. He pointedly brought out, “its not like we need to be holding hands in the park kinda stuff.” The Lakers are working on the chemistry, but it won’t be easy. Crittenton and Farmar are finding themselves. And sighing aloud, “Andrew Bynum is forever young.” But confidently he said, “it takes time, we will get there.”
Kobe the ‘Momba King’ makes the dance steps seem simple. “We need to rotate. Cover the weak side, and pursue the perimeter.”
So do the Lakers have what it takes to ‘Dance with the Stars’? Can we ‘Rhumba’ with the NBA’s finest? Are we ready for the Ballroom Championship?
And now on to the game preview.
‘All that Jazz’: If we want to dance our way to the top. We MUST tap dance our way by these guys. They were the surprise of the NBA. Sloan had them Square Dancing their way to the Western Conference Finals. They still have Boozer and Williams, but we took away from them, the Heart, the Soul, and their Inspiration, Derek Fisher. Advantage Lakers.
Key Match Ups: The Guards: Phil says he can’t tell them apart. “They all look the same to me.” And his answer to all the hard work they’ve put in? “Okay guys, we play it this way. Farmar, you get the little guys, Sasha, the tall ones, and Crittenton, the ‘Tony Parkers of the World.’
The Centers: If you go by the Lakers Nation Poll, Andrew Bynum starts. But the only pole that really counts, is the one PJ has by his side. And it says Mihm or Kwame will start, but Drew will get most of the minutes.
Fatty’s Take: This is what AB gets for not shooting the ‘Skyhook’ C’mon Bynum, make Kareem proud. Do the ‘Skyhook’ thingy.
The Shooting Forward: Luke Walton vs Vladimir Radmanovic
Luke can pass. Vladimir can shoot. Luke has curly wavy hair. Vladimir shaved his head. Luke plays with his brain. Vladimir plays with his snowboard. This is going to be a tough one.
Fatty’s Take: Its Lamar Odom
Who’s Hot? Jordan Farmar. The guy did the Cha Cha Cha over, under, and around the Clippers.
Who’s Not? Chris Mihm’s ‘Break Dance’ broke down. We will chalk it up to, he was rusty, he’s flat footed, and out of rhythm.
Official Lakers Cheer for Tuesday’s Game:
Do the ‘Funky Chicken’ on the Utah Jazz
(Courtesy of Fatty’s wife)
“It doesn’t count, its just preseason”
Game Prediction: The Lakers will Hip Hop and Macarena all over the Jazz. The Los Angeles Lakers of Anaheim will score a Ten from the Judges and win the Great Disney Dance Off. Don’t get too excited. As PJ said, just preseason “its like kissing your sister,” not the real thing.