The Foam Finger: New Years Resolutions

Hi folks,

My name is Jonny, and I will be penning a periodic column here at the Lakers Nation. My goal is to provide a unique viewpoint of the Lakers, but also of the NBA at large as well.

I’ll get into who I chose the title “The Foam Finger” in my next article, but first I will be trotting out the tried and true, and therefore cliched, team and player New Years resolution.

Note: I was going to do a separate note for Sun Yue on Chinese New Years, but then I remembered that he’s not with the team anymore, bummer.

Derek Fisher – I will take less Pull-Up-In-Transition-Jumpers (PUITJ) with the possible exception being if I pull up behind the 3-point line.

Jordan Farmar – I will continue to make smart decisions off the bench, and knock down open 3-pointers.

Shannon Brown – I will start dunking ferociously again (Is it just me, or has he only had like, two really nice dunks since LetShannonDunk.com was launched?).

Sasha Vujacic – I will check to see if my warranty is still valid, and if so, I will ask the manufacturer to send me the missing piece that Ray Allen stole from me in the 2008 NBA Finals

Luke Walton – I will come back and remind the Bench Mob that the Triangle offense really is a beauty when executed right.

Lamar Odom – I will lower the number of  “O’dumb” offensive fouls a game I get to one every other game.

Pau Gasol – I will get really pissed off if I’m not seeing the ball enough that a triple double night is a legitimate possibility.

Andrew Bynum – I will vary my offensive moves to include more spins away from the center of the court off the block, and I will also remember that I have a devastating drop step move.

Ron Artest – I will continue to be a most excellent defender, and I will continue to have awesome hairstyles.

Adam Morrison, Josh Powell, D.J. Mbenga – I will continue to reiterate to Phil Jackson that DNP is my favourite band ever, and I would like to collect as many CD’s of theirs as possible.

Kobe Bryant – I AM Bruce Willis.

That’ll be all folks, have a happy New Year, and stay classy Lakers fans.

  • Batz

    Lol…

  • http://lakersnation.com Penis

    DAmn, Celtics NAtion is bvetter than this crap

  • http://LakersNation Marwan..

    Game notes for tonight’s game.

    -Tyreke Evans is out of tonight’s game with a sprained ankle should return soon

    -Ron Artest was shooting around after practice, to get rhythm back but he experienced dizziness. He is listed as ‘doubtful’ for tonight’s game.

    -Phil Jackson has given thought to a new lineup after the ‘bigs’ lineup has been starting slow.

    -The Lakers are 13-7 all-time against the Kings at STAPLES Center and have gone 6-4 in their last 10 home contests.

    -Ron Artest (laceration to head and left elbow) is doubtful.

    -Kobe Bryant (avulsion fracture, right index finger / strained right elbow) will play.

    -Josh Powell (upper respiratory infection) is doubtful.

    -Luke Walton (pinched nerve, back) is out.

    -Kobe Bryant is the leading scorer at 30.4 points per game. Trailing is Carmelo Anthony with 30 points per game.

  • ko8e_f@n_v2

    I’m a long time follower of TLN; but this article is just plain sad. It’s not even funny in the least. :|

    • http://LakersNation KB24 LB23 Fan

      I know, I posted that comment but it wasn’t processed. I agree with you though. This article is a scapegoat for publicity. Some fan you are. How the hell did you get to write articles on TLN too? Its for Laker fans not mediocre bloggers to post crap that ridicules players. Any player for that matter. These are athletes that go out and give a show. Yes, even Lebron. Although he has the ref’s help, he still puts on a show with his dunks.
      If you keep this up, Im outta TLN.

      • http://LakersNation drive for #16

        For a “Laker fan” it took you 6 months to realize that Sun Yue away? WOW, get back to the basement and play your World Of Warcraft.

  • http://LakersNation Lakers Mayne

    Jonathan Somers-Harris – I will write better articles in the future that dont make fun of players but write some worthwhile articles such as updates on the teams or better yet, I will not write articles.

  • Baskaholic

    Wow, trying 2 be funny really backfired on this guy huh.
    And disrecpecting Fisher is just plain awful. That’s 0.4 you’re talking about. ‘
    And I wouldn’t mind some PT 4 Ammo, showcasing him and then moving him 4 a good roleplayer, that would make his expiring contract look even better. Josh Powell has had some good games, even startin against Houston last year and gettin 17 and 9, if I remember correctly.

    I wish a happy new year 2 all Laker fans and a great year 4 our beloved Lakeshow ending in a huge repeat party at Figueroa .

  • http://www.facebook.com/paulcamantigue Whatsa

    Uhh.. what made you guys think that this guy is trying to be funny? It’s totally serious.

  • http://57.amklac Marwan the tard

    happy new year to all the LAKER NATION LOSERS…

    • Marwan the Fag

      Oh damn….I am such a stupid fag…need vaseline for the itchy donut

  • antoine

    i thought it was PUJIT.. pull up jumper in transition.. makes more sense..

  • lordnykn

    Been readin this blog for a while n never commented till now.

    Jeez hombres give the man a break. I really agree with the fisher comments. The dude has been makin stupid decisions lately. i kno its his game and in the past that shot has been money but now its just hurtin our transition d whenever he misses. He also seems a bit frustrated and gets silly fouls. He will always b great in my book but its starting to look like he should be comin off the bench. and of course b there at the end when we need a big shot.

    just my 2 cents. longtime lakers fan signin out. peace

    ps some more consistent PT for the machine will fix him. his D and hustle will make this team stronger if only phil played him more. He is the type of player that needs confidence to play well. PT will fix that. peace

  • acgod15

    the sasha part was the only funny thing about this article, ray allen seems to have taken the pride out of him since then-check it, he even made him get a haircut.

    am i the only one who feels that the lakers have one of the less-elite point guards in the league? if someone can name a weaker starting point guard, lemme know.

  • ilikeebasketball

    i liked the article. too much cattiness going on this website. i miss the old days. seems like when the website layout changed the comments changed as well.

    • Smush Walton

      I agree the quality of this website has really gone down since last season. Too many goofy non-basketball comments. The new look is nice but the articles do not show up properly on my cell phone. I think the mid article “Replies” are what are not being shown on the cell phone. Seems like most articles have a note from someone selling tickets. If you want to see a quality website (if you can stomach the content) check out the Red’s Army one. I’ve never poste on that one but I have heard they remove the comments from Bozos.

  • lakerbunny

    I RESOLVE TO CARRY RON ARTEST UP OR DOWN ANY FLIGHTS OF STAIRS HE MAY ENCOUNTER!

    • lakerbunny

      I RESOLVE NOT TO SCREAM YUFF HUCKING IDIOT EVERYTIME ODOM MISSES A LAY-UP!

  • lakerbunny

    I RESOLVE TO NEVER CALL VUJACIC, VUJASLIT!