A Fair and Honest Appraisal of: the Los Angeles Lakers.

C’mon, Lakers, get it the F*&% together!! You guys are like the Bad News Bears if the Bad News Bears got paid the equivalent of the GDP of a moderately-sized island nation. Ol’ man Kobe Bryant is complaining about kids these days, Dwight Howard’s like that girl at my high school who was always on crutches because it got her attention, Metta World Peace just hired a donkey as his personal trainer, Steve Nash somehow looks even weirder WITHOUT his butt cut, and Mike D’Antoni just looks like a giant mouse. Y’all are the BLUE CHIPS BASKETBALL TEAM, not a quirky bunch of ragtag underdogs!! Big I guess if the playoffs don’t work out this year (and they’re totally not gonna) you can always play exhibition games against the Washington Generals — it’s not a guaranteed win, but it’s a start.

Overall rating: 4.5

More about the Bumby’s:

Anonymous performance artists Gill & Jill Bumby provide “Fair and Honest Appraisals of Your Appearance” with nothing more than their manual typewriters and charming wit.  It’s as simple as it sounds – you stand front and center and they type you a personalized assessment of what they think your look says about you.

Check them out on Facebook and Twitter, and be sure to stop in and get your personal assessment next time they’re in your area.