Team U.S.A. Pre-Game Report: U.S.A. vs. China - Laker Nation

Team U.S.A. Pre-Game Report: U.S.A. vs. China

Hey kids, it’s your old friend Varsityoptimism here, and no it is not October and no you are not hallucinating. I am here to dust off the old Pre-Game pen to breakdown the U.S.A. Screaming Eagles first Olympic match up against Host nation China. And after the stunning Opening Ceremonies that aired last night, if you do not have full-blown Olympic Fever, then you are not a member of the human race.

From the 2,008 light-up drums, to the kite flying Chinese Pop Star, to the spectacular and unforgettable torch lighting, I for one was stunned by the imagination, perfection and beauty that the Chinese were able to accomplish in what will be remembered as one of the proudest moments in Modern Chinese history.

Unfortunately for China, Sunday’s game with the Screaming Eagles will not be as triumphant. Yao Ming will finally put down Sichuan earthquake hero Lin Hao and suit up for the Chinese National team’s first contest.

Also lacing up them shoes for China is newest Laker Sun Yue, who will meet new teammate Kobe Bryant for the first time on Sunday.

As far as actual basketball goes, look for the Screaming Eagles to DESTROY China. Aside from Yao, China does not have another player in the same category that the United States roster is crammed with.

So, you ask: “What should I expect?”

Expect a slaughter. Expect Kobe to play lockdown defense. Expect LeBron to throw down some insane slam dunk. Expect Michael Redd to gun some threes. Expect Carlos Boozer to poke Zhu Fangyu in the eyes and expect Tayshaun to use his lanky arms to rip out Wang Lei’s armpit hair.

Expect to see Kobe & Co. make a statement at Wukesong Indoor Stadium that says: “We are NOT messing around. We are in it to win it.”

More so, expect the Screaming Eagles first victory on the road to Gold.

So let out your best eagle scream and get ready for some entertaining basketball.

CACHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Varsity’s Olympic Musings -

While watching the ol’ Parade of Nations during Friday’s Opening Ceremony, I noticed that the female athletic delegations of most these countries are ridiiiiiiiiiiiculously attractive. Australia and Slovenia were cute, but it was Croatia that stole the show. Hammer Throwers Ivana Brkljacic and Sprinter Danijela Grgic head up what I will refer to from this point forward as the Croatian Cute Crew. We here at TLN will follow all activities and achievements of the Triple C for duration of the Beijing Games.

Varsity Challenge -

Prize: One of those suuuuuuuuper cool light sticks that all the kids at the Bird’s Nest were waving around.

Name all the Olympians who are competing in basketball that were selected as their country’s Flag Bearer.

Bernie Mac
October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008