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Joel and Stu Drinking Game


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#1 Base

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 03:28 AM

I found this funny http://bandwagonla.b...01_archive.html

Perhaps we have been spoiled as Los Angeles Sports fans in terms of who we've enjoyed as our sports voices. Vin Scully. Chick Hearn. Bob Miller. Petros Papadakis. But is it just me, or is the river of awkward that is the Joel Meyers experience bustling like the mighty Mississippi this year? Check out his latest gem. And by gem, I mean diarrhea of the mouth.

A few nights ago, Kobe hits an insane fadeaway from the right wing and is fouled on the shot. He stumbles backward into the courtside seats near the Laker bench and Sasha Vujacic, excited from the acrobatics of the play gets up and slaps Kobe on the [expletive]. Joel's call?

"Sasha likes it from behind!!!"


Wow. Oh and let's not forget about the Length of Lamar. My lord. The LOL. I understand that decribing a players length is a trend right now in basketball commentating with all the long-armed, versatile players scattered throughout the league. But Joel takes this to a whole other level. Wow, he was really bothered by the length of Lamar on that shot. Or, Lamar's length caused that turnover. It's like, it's not just Lamar Odom. There's Lamar. And there's the Length of Lamar. Both are sentient, tax paying citizens of the Earth according to Joel.

But you see, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is about Joel that bothers me. I mean, the Gay innuendos are one thing (and that "one thing" would be hilarious), but I think the thing that frustrates me the most is that I can't understand Joel's thought process as he's calling the game. I feel like the play by play man should describe the action and from time to time make some relevant observations about the context of said action. But Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel. Joel does not do this.

Here's a hypothetical example. The Lakers could be down by ten points with maybe 6 minutes to play in the game and then Joel will say something like, "The Lakers could use an 8-0 run here..." First of all, you're thinking well, no [expletive], Joel. But then the you think about it some more and you find yourself wondering, well, why didn't he say a 10-0 run? Hell, why not 20-0? But then you know what happens next? The other team goes on an 8-0 run.

But ok. I suppose every announcer is guilty of jinxing a team now and then. Fine. And of course, it doesn't happen that way all the time. What if say the Lakers do go on that 8-0 run, making Joel seem down right prophetic. Now say we got the ball with 30 seconds left, down 2 (remember, it was an 8-0 run from down 10). Kobe's dribbling out the clock a bit at the top of the key, he decides to make his move, and here is a classic Joel call of this play:

Kobe dribbles right. He's gets into the lane. HE'S CUT OFF! He finds Fisher in the corner. FISHER FOR THREE!!! OH!!! It rims out. Can't give Kobe the assist....

That's right. Can't. Give. Kobe. The. Assist. Seriously, who gives a [expletive] about the assist. What about the fact that the game is probably over on that miss. It's like he gets fixated on certain things, usually statistical milestones for certain players, and it prevents him from commenting on the broader, more important perspectives. And honestly, it's becoming distracting as hell.

And I know that the above is not describing a play from a particular game. When I said before that I cannot pinpoint what bothers me about Joel, I really meant that I don't have a body of concrete examples of his ineptitude to list before you. But if you've been watching the Lakers closely during the Joel Meyer's era, tell me the above hypothetical does not sound all too familiar.

But either way, it looks like this is what we've got until the Lakers get wise and put Spero Dedes on TV. So you know what? Let's make the best of it. One easy way to do that: get [expletive] faced. I present to you the Joel and Stu drinking game.

Rules: Buy some beer. Buy some liquor. Watch the local broadcast of the Laker game. Drink when you hear the following from Joel Meyers or Stu Lantz.

Level I: One sip
- Joel talks about Lamar Odom's length
- Stu refers to Pau Gasol as Pau Kasol
- Joel mentions points off of turnovers
- Joel or Stu uses the phrase Charity Stripe
- Stu says that the Lakers have "issues" if they are running late in the shot clock

Level II: Chug a beer (beer bong is optional, recommended)
- Stu says something about the Lakers "needing to Scratch"
- Joel mentions where a player played college ball more than once
- Joel talks about Trevor Ariza's length
- Joel talks about Andrew Bynum's length
- Joel talks about Pau Gasol's length

Level III: Take a shot
- Stu uses that metaphor about how big guys being far from the basket is like being high in the mountains/air is thin
- Stu says "Noiiiiccce"
- Joel talks about Kobe's Length
- Stu talks about Pau Kasol's length
- Joel uses the phrase "the rub down low"

Seriously, you'll be drunk by half time. And the Lakers will be up by 20. Happy drinking, Laker fans.



#2 Grandpa Herman

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 09:47 AM

That article is complete garbage. Just a bunch of complaining and nitpicking. <_<
Basketball Reasons...

#3 Game

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 09:47 AM

lol, my friends and i used to have some laker drinking games in college

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#4 kobynum

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 09:53 AM

some of this is funny, but i like joel and qusetioning stu is downright forbidden, and spero is cool, real cool, but he is good for radio...anyway at least you got some frustration out
Again - this team, as currently constructed won't make it out of the second round of the playoffs, let alone the West or win the Finals.---fido on 2011 Lakers

#5 Mo Rings

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 12:55 PM

HA!

#6 Base

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 02:06 PM

I didn't write it BTW..lol It was an article written last year and they reposted I think.

That article is complete garbage. Just a bunch of complaining and nitpicking. <_<

It's better than those fans that watch other games and say "Man they are such homers, Joel and Stu aren't that bad" Man they are terrible announcers (and yes epic homers too), Laker fans deserve better than that.

Edited by Base, December 25, 2008 - 02:12 PM.


#7 phifedogg76

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 10:04 PM

me and my friends usually just play the game where when we make a 3 point shot we take half a shot and if we get a block we have to take a full shot, its slower paced and we dont get so drunk before halftime so we can enjoy the game more
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Go Lakeshow!!!

#8 SaintNicholasVanExel

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Posted December 25, 2008 - 10:31 PM

"a real breakdown on defense"

"break for the lakers"

#9 Imadogg

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Posted December 26, 2008 - 05:24 AM

I didn't write it BTW..lol It was an article written last year and they reposted I think.
It's better than those fans that watch other games and say "Man they are such homers, Joel and Stu aren't that bad" Man they are terrible announcers (and yes epic homers too), Laker fans deserve better than that.

I won't say they're the best announcers at all, but they're epic homers? HELL NAH. Joel/Stu are one of the most unbiased local combos I've heard. I've seen some NBAtv games, like Boston.......... wow. Talk about biased. [expletive] them. Our dudes always tell the truth "Lakers got away with one there"... "make up call anyone?"... etc etc


And lol at all the homo stuff they say

#10 Maddocks

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Posted December 26, 2008 - 08:19 AM

I drink whenever stu says,"bigs dont like to jump, they give you one jump and done. you never see a big jump twice in a row"

and when stu rocks his little commentary moments. ariza is on a fast break and kobe is behind him and ariza passes it off to kobe and during the slow mo replay stu has to have a convo with himself about the two,"ariza on the fast break and he sees mr. 24 behind him and he says," i see ya 24 get me this assist." kobe says,"no problem trev ill slam it down for ya" that was NIIIIIICE

Edited by Maddocks, December 26, 2008 - 08:24 AM.

I see faith in your eyes
never you hear the discouraging lies
broken is the promise, betrayal
the healing hand held back by deepened nail
follow the god that failed


#11 Imadogg

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Posted December 26, 2008 - 08:57 AM

"When you gamble... sometimes you win..... sometimes........ you loooose."

I always think he's gonna say something witty there, but it's just the opposite of win.

#12 Smart Alex

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Posted December 27, 2008 - 11:12 AM

I drink whenever stu says,"bigs dont like to jump, they give you one jump and done. you never see a big jump twice in a row"

and when stu rocks his little commentary moments. ariza is on a fast break and kobe is behind him and ariza passes it off to kobe and during the slow mo replay stu has to have a convo with himself about the two,"ariza on the fast break and he sees mr. 24 behind him and he says," i see ya 24 get me this assist." kobe says,"no problem trev ill slam it down for ya" that was NIIIIIICE


:lol: :lol: yeah the bigs don't like to jump. :lol:

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