How I imagine her winning speech went:
"Best anal performer".. what a world we live in.
First off I would like to thank god for blessing my anus with the special "TALENT" to withstand a countless amount of sodomizing from enormous oversized penises and still be able to excrement normally.
I have worked my ASS off(pardon the pun) my whole career to finally achieve this prestigious award and be mentioned with all the greats. I remember my humble beginnings, losing my anal virginity at 16 to my brothers best friend in my parents bed. I never dreamed one day I would win Best Anal performer. Its taken a lot of HARD work to get here and many PAINFUL nights putting in the extra work.
While the rest of my friends were out partying and having fun, I was at home honing my craft with Anal beads, Dildos and Vibrators. Its taken a lot of dedication, BUTT its all worth it.
To all my co-stars I have ever worked with thank you. While some of you were a real "pain in the ass", I couldn't have done it without you. On second thought I probably could have haha.
Last but not least I would like to thank my parents. Thanks for believing in my ASS when others didn't. You taught me to not let any ASSES treat you like feces. So now I use my ASS to defecate on those dickheads lol.
In closing, to all aspiring analists out there take note. Dont let anyone say your ASS wont amount to nothing, because my ASS has been getting mounted for years and I have received tons of cream pies from happy customers lmfao!!!
Edited by jax24, February 13, 2014 - 04:24 AM.