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Quotes of Michael Jordan ripping his teammates (from the Jordan Rules book)

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#1 J-H!zZl3


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Posted July 07, 2012 - 05:16 PM

I know a lot of people have probably seen these quotes before. They are from the Jordan Rules written by Sam Smith. But every time I read these, I can't help but laugh. Some of these MJ quotes are priceless.

"We're beating a lot of poor teams. So what? We won a lot of games last year, too. Will Horace and Bill still be playing at this level in the playoffs...Can Pip keep it up?"

"I hate being out there with those garbagemen. They don't get you the ball."

"They've got no idea what it's all about. The white guys, they work hard, but they don't have the talent. And the rest of them? Who knows what to expect? They're not good for much of anything."

"I know what's gonna happen. We'll wait until the last minute and then they'll say something like they couldn't get a deal done because of the cap or somebody pulled out at the last minute. It happens here all the time. I don't know why I'm surprised every year."

"He can't do anything with the ball. Don't give it to him." - Michael yelling at Paxson who passed the ball to Perdue

"You ever hear of a guy, six-eleven maybe and two hundred sixty pounds, a guy big and fat like that and he can't get but two rebounds, if that many, running all over the damn court and he gets two rebounds? Big guy like that and he gets one rebound. Can't even stick his ass into people and get more than that...Big, fat, fat guy. One rebound in three games. Power forward. Maybe they should call it powerless forward." - Michael ripping Stacey King a new one

"He was scared in there and panicking. He just lost it when Stockton scored." - Michael on B.J. Armstrong's mental fragility

I'll let them stand up and take responsibility for themselves.

"We have to do some things. We need to make some changes."

"...I call them 'the Looney Tunes.' Physically, they were the best. Mentally, they weren't even close."

"He's scared. He's got no heart...Nobody told me that. If I had spoken up, he wouldn't have been here."

"I know I can recognize what to do, but I'm not sure they can."

"It's a hell of a lot easier to make Earl Monroe look good than it is Brad Sellers."

"I hope there's a jumpshot in there." - Michael to Stacey King who was walking into the locker room with a box

"They don't need a ticket to watch you sitting on the bench. They can go to your house for that." - Michael to Charles Davis who was sorting through his tickets for his family and friends

"Give me the fu*king ball." - Michael to Doug Collins who drew up a play for Dave Corzine

"I hate when I have to read that in the papers the next day, that I couldn't do something. It wasn't my fault."

"You're an idiot. You've screwed up every play we ever ran. You're too stupid to even remember the plays. We ought to get rid of you." - Michael to Horace Grant

"If you [pass the ball to Bill Cartwright], you'll never get the ball from me."

"We're not winning because of talent. We're just beating bad teams."

"Headache tonight, Scottie?" - Michael asks Scottie, while showing him his 2-for-16 line

"It's probably a twelve-day. He needs two days to wake up." - Michael on a ten-day contract teammate

"Five more years and I'm out of here. I'm marking these days on a calendar, like I'm in jail. I'm tired of being used by this organization, by the league, by the writers, by everyone."

"They're not interested in winning. They just want to sell tickets, which they can do because of me. They won't make any deals to make us better. And this Kukoc thing. I hate that. They're spending all their time chasing this guy."

"If I were a general manager, we'd be a better team."

"Will Vanderbilt. He doesn't deserve to be named after a Big Ten school." - Michael on Will Perdue - AWESOME!

"I want to prove the critics wrong...I want to see some serious moves from management, which I really haven't seen that much of yet, and I want to see more serious attitudes from my teammates this year when it comes to the playoffs. In the past, it's been more or less a joking thing, sort of a 'Well, we're here, so let's have a good time.'"..........

"I'm sure everything will be fine if we win, but if we start losing, I'm shooting."

"I know what I would do if I were coach. I'd determine our strengths and weaknesses and utilize them. And it's pretty clear what our strength is."

"Your boy doesn't want to play. I'm tired of bailing his ass out." - Michael yelling at Jim Cleamons about Dennis Hopson

"I don't know about trading a 24 year-old guy for a 34 year-old guy." - Michael questioning the Oakley trade

"He's causing me too many turnovers." - Michael on Cartwright's inability to catch

"Why the hell don't you ever set a pick like that in a game?" - Michael yelling at Perdue after also hitting Perdue upside his head (led to the institution of the private curtain for practices)

Teamate says "But MJ, you had two guys on you."

Jordan replies "Yeah, but one was Fred Roberts."

This quote is hilarious for obvious reasons:

"If I were a general manager, we'd be a better team."

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#2 MDI


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Posted July 07, 2012 - 05:34 PM

Damn. He'd get ripped a new one if he said those quotes today

Edited by MDI, July 07, 2012 - 05:35 PM.



Props to sidthekid871

#3 Simba


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Posted July 07, 2012 - 05:44 PM

That last quote is just golden. We all know he was a ass of a teammate though, nothing surprising.

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#4 LakeShow805


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Posted July 07, 2012 - 06:34 PM

sounds like a dick

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#5 PhillyLaker24



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Posted July 07, 2012 - 06:50 PM

I laugh at these quotes and I fine them funny. As much as an a hole that MJ was he was allowed to be because he showed up every night ready to ball and you have to respect a man that does that. MJ and Ali were two of the greatest athletes of all time, and trash talkers who just didnt give a [expletive] !! lol

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#6 dakidblu



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Posted July 07, 2012 - 07:34 PM

Lol i wonder what kobe be saying

#7 Windu



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Posted July 07, 2012 - 08:36 PM


found a new nickname for Pau too

Powerless Forward

Pau Gasol is GONE

#8 Azazello


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Posted July 07, 2012 - 10:05 PM

Imagine what he'd say about pau

#9 West Coast

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Posted July 07, 2012 - 10:22 PM

Imagine what he'd say about pau

Probably would have slapped him like he did Kwame

#10 J-H!zZl3


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Posted July 08, 2012 - 09:34 AM

Probably would have slapped him like he did Kwame

MJ destroyed any type of confidence that Kwame had. Lol.

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#11 serenityy


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Posted July 08, 2012 - 10:10 AM

Must have been awful to have a team at one point that could make it to the ECF without you. Though with some of these quotes you'd like to think Mj instilled that toughness in them. Either that or they wanted to prove him wrong, lol.

You're an idiot. You've screwed up every play we ever ran. You're too stupid to even remember the plays. We ought to get rid of you.

:laughing: Sounds like something Kobe would say to Kwame

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