You probably don't care. Wait, you definitely don't care. But there's an ongoing basketball atrocity happening right now in Los Angeles. As long as Mike Dunleavy remains employed with the Clippers, I cannot rest. I have to keep writing about it.
Tuesday night took the cake. The LeBrons were in town. Only eight current NBA players qualify for "There's No Way I'm Missing Them If They're In Town" purposes: LeBron, Wade, Paul, Duncan, Kobe, Durant, Howard and strangely, Anthony Randolph (I will explain some other time). It's a once-in-a-generation experience to see LeBron right now if he has it going. I caught him in Boston on Friday and he stunk. But after Wade's 48-12 and surreal game-winning 3-pointer Monday night officially launched the "Wade for MVP" bandwagon, I thought for sure 'Bron would be kicking some Clipper butt Tuesday night. So I was giddy.
As it turned out, the Clippers had two surprises for him Tuesday: A sold-out crowd (half-rooting for LeBron, but still) and a completely healthy lineup for the first time since 1952. The Clips charged out to a 48-34 halftime lead as the Cavs bricked about 50 3-point attempts. Sitting there with my friend Tollin, we had the obligatory "How will the Clips blow this game?" conversation. Notice the insertion of the word "How." That means it was a foregone conclusion. And it was.
That's the beauty of the Dumbleavy Era -- you can always count on things to go wrong. The Clips have blown something like 12 leads in the final three minutes this season, including an incredible collapse to the Granger-less Pacers on Saturday night. Sadly, they aren't even tanking for a high draft pick -- the coach desperately wants to vindicate his "the only reason we're losing is because we're banged up" rhetoric that has no basis in reality whatsoever. The Clippers are losing because they're paying 75 percent of their salary cap to Baron Davis, Zach Randolph, Chris Kaman and Marcus Camby. Would you trust that foursome to play 18 holes of miniature golf without one of them getting hurt? Of course not. Dunleavy brought in every one of those guys; he's the one who built this pathetic team. So it's either the coach's fault or the GM's fault, and unfortunately for Dunleavy, he has both jobs. This is why the season-ticket holders despise him to the point that they entered William Ligue Jr. territory about three weeks ago.
Without further ado, we pick up our retro-diary of Tuesday's debacle heading into the second half. Our announcers: Ralph Lawler and Michael Smith.