Jump to content


What If Phil Jackson Was The NBA's Substitute Teacher?

  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 BeeZee


    Reigning Purple & Gold

  • 5,869 posts
  • Joined: Sep 24, 2008
  • Location:Southern California
  • Fan Since:1993
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe, Horry, Van Exel

Posted February 12, 2009 - 12:50 PM

Phil Jackson is approaching his assignment as Western Conference All-Star coach this weekend with all the passion and preparation of your most mediocre substitute teacher.

So it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that he’ll gather his All-Star players for supposed practice, pop in a DVD of the Lakers-Jazz game Wednesday night and announce: “Study this, and maybe we’ll try to run some of the triangle offense in the game Sunday.”

Jackson would then grab his trusty crossword puzzle, sit behind a desk and wait to see who is the first one to ask for all hall pass to use the restroom. (Given his limited ability to focus, I’d guess Phoenix’s Amare Stoudemire.)

If Jackson was the NBA's substitute teacher, this is what his P.E. class might look like in their middle school locker room:


Pau Gasol takes his eyes off the TV screen and notices Chris Paul dishing him a piece of paper. Gasol opens the note and reads it: “I am the godfather of the NBA. I decree that you must come sit next to me right now. – Shaq”

Gasol looks up to see Jackson engrossed in clipping his fingernails and sashays over to O’Neal’s locker.

“Hola, my All-Star amigo,” O’Neal says. “You know I trained him, right?”

“What’s that?” a confused Gasol says.

“Kobe,” O’Neal says. “I trained him. Look at that.”


Bleeding purple & gold...

#2 Junayd


    Based Prophet

  • 10,890 posts
  • Joined: Jan 28, 2009
  • Location:Dire Dawa
  • Fan Since:'97-'98
  • Fav. Laker:Sedale Threatt

Posted February 12, 2009 - 01:13 PM

Haha, good read thanks for the link

Posted Image
@MooMeezy | Tumblr
“i have more respect for a man that lets me know where he stands, even if he’s wrong.
than one who comes up like an angel but is nothing but a devil.”

#3 Pau16Kobe24Drew17



  • 700 posts
  • Joined: Jan 10, 2009
  • Location:Arkansas
  • Fan Since:1966
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe Bryant

Posted February 12, 2009 - 02:39 PM

If Phil is the substitute teacher then I would be willing to wager Luke is the teacher's pet.

#4 Imadogg



  • 0 posts
  • Joined: Jul 24, 2008

Posted February 12, 2009 - 04:21 PM

Hahaha how do you think of this stuff

#5 ILLWiLL20


    Chick and Stu

  • 5,071 posts
  • Joined: Nov 30, 2008
  • Location:L.A County,26 miles away from Staples Center
  • Name:WILL.I.AM
  • Fan Since:Birth
  • Fav. Laker:Magic, Mamba

Posted February 12, 2009 - 04:24 PM

Well if you were to be goofin' around in class Phil would tell you to...........
Posted Image
Posted Image

#6 Notorious Arab

Notorious Arab


  • 4,853 posts
  • Joined: Feb 06, 2009
  • Location:OC
  • Fan Since:When I came to the USA
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe Bryant

Posted February 12, 2009 - 04:33 PM


Posted Image

#7 ファイナルファンタジ


    Pump Up The Fruit

  • 12,134 posts
  • Joined: Jul 25, 2008
  • Location:San Daygo
  • Name:Jerry
  • Fan Since:Forever
  • Fav. Laker:コービーブライアント

Posted February 12, 2009 - 06:03 PM

Haha good read.

“OK, then,” the agreeable Spaniard says with a shrug. “Thank you, my godfather.” :lol:

Posted Image
Team Farmar
United we stand. Divided we fall.

#8 TheAssassin611


    "The Young Assassin"

  • 892 posts
  • Joined: Jan 31, 2009
  • Location:Philippines
  • Name:Mohammad Abdulrauf L. Lauban
  • Fan Since:2003
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe Bryant

Posted February 13, 2009 - 03:19 AM

Good Read.

#9 netlord


    Flying high

  • 10,817 posts
  • Joined: Jul 29, 2008
  • Location:España
  • Name:Alexi
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe

Posted February 13, 2009 - 06:13 AM

They should actually make a real video of this :lol: :lol:

#10 Makaveli


    where will i go?

  • 13,327 posts
  • Joined: Jan 27, 2009
  • Location:Estonia.
  • Fan Since:'06
  • Fav. Laker:Kobe 'Bean' Bryant.

Posted February 13, 2009 - 07:31 AM

hahahaha, i just finished reading the entire article. 

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users