Not everyone hates the Lakers. Just most everyone. The Lakers are kind of like the NBA's version of the Yankees-they have the most fans, but are also the most hated, by far, of the league's teams. The reasons are many, but here are the top 5:
5. The Name: Let's face it: Lakers is about as bad of a geographical/cultural mismatch as you can get for a team in Los Angeles. Okay, Utah Jazz is worse, but just barely. This is a very minor reason for hating these guys, but really they should change that name. It is insipid, and makes no sense at all. Another thing that chaps me: If a team decides to relocate, it isn't the same team anymore, and therefore shouldn't claim the Championships it won in the past town. So in my book, LA has 9 Championships to Bostons 17. You've got a lot longer way to go than you think to reach the summit in my book, L.A. fan.
4. The Coaches: When I say coaches, two names come to mind, and you know who they are: Pat Riley and Phil Jackson. How could you not hate these guys? Pat with his slicked back greaser hair and his Armani suits, coining and actually trademarking the term "threepeat" (lame), and just overall being that kind of creepy, shady guy that you know could probably steal your girlfriend, use her, and leave her broken, just to say he did it. (Think Rob Lowe in Wayne's World.) And Phil, with all of his "Zen" crap-o-la. (no problem with Zen, but what does it really have to do with coaching basketball.) Oh, Phil just sits there smugly, whining about the refs and how bad his team got it after Kobe Bryant shot 25 free throws against your team. Cry me a river, Phil.
3. The Location/Fans: There's just something about L.A. and the people who live there that rub everybody else the wrong way. We know the weather is perfect. We know that all the stars from Hollywood will be at the game. Are we jealous? Probably. But for some reason, seeing Jack Nicholson sitting court side, yelling at the refs just blows. I don't care if Robert Downey Jr is coked-up at the game, or if Diane Cannon is looking 85 years old while rooting for the Lake Show. And I don't care if it never rains in southern California. I couldn't care less that Disneyland is in your backyard. Enjoy the smog.
2. The Players: This part of the hatred of L.A. has really gotten worse the last few years. The 80's teams were flamboyant and a little overbearing with all the "Showtime" grab-assing, but for the most part, the players themselves weren't all that hated. I mean, James Worthy even paid for some whores one time at the All-Start game in Houston. A real salt-of-the-earth move by Big Game James. But not the current incarnation of the Lakers. Their roster is riddled with hateable players:
Kobe Bryant: The cockiest in the league. Yells at his own team. Possible rapist. Speaks Italian. Jumped a car. He just seems like a major jerk.
Jordan Farmar: Ears like Dumbo. Never done anything besides be a decent backup, but struts around like he's the Queen of Spain. Not unlike Damon Jones.
Derek Fisher: Must have naked pictures of every ref in the league. Gets away with murder at the end of games, even playoff games. (remember Brent Barry, Spurs Fan?) Major flop-artist. Sketchy ending to his Jazz career. A little too buff.
Pau Gasol: Has one of the worst "Euro-Faces" ever. After every made basket, has an orgasm of joy and yells "Let's Go!" I'm not kidding. After EVERY basket. After every missed basket, cries and whines like someone just crapped on his pillow.
Sasha Vujacic: Calls himself the machine. 'Nuff said.
1. The Winning: Ok. The number one reason America hates the Lakers is because they always win. Always. Even when they are down (think Cedric Ceballos as your main player), you know they are just a year away from signing the best player because every player wants to live in LA, and be on the biggest stage in the NBA. The Lakers have the highest winning percentage of all time. They should buy the "Just Win, Baby" slogan off of Raider's owner Al Davis, because Lord knows he won't be needing it any time soon.
In the end America hates the Lakers because of their winning history, their great players and coaches, and the fact that LA is a great town anybody would love to live in. America hates the Lakers out of jealousy.
Edited by LALakersFan4Life, February 09, 2009 - 10:55 PM.